How he passed

Dad lost his battle this past Saturday morning the 25th at 9:00 am.  The last few days were really tough as Dad’s brain and awareness of reality began to leave.  The saddest part was on Wednesday afternoon when Dad started his final slide backwards and he knew that he was not understanding and was confused and that was the first time I heard him say that he was scared.  He knew death was close.  The visions and confusion grew to such a level I had to keep him calm with his supplied medications for his own safety.

Starting about 5 pm or so Friday evening we noticed a new noise coming from Dad.  I thought it was just the cough he had developed from the last few days getting worse and causing congestion as he took each breath.  I even held Dad in a sitting position and pounded his back like a baby choking to try and get him to cough up all the fluids that were causing this horrible gurgling sound.  I was able to get most of what was causing the noise up but noticed Dad was not concious and his feet and hands were turning blue.  This didn’t stop me from trying to ease his breathing and I continued to hold him up and try and help.  It wasn’t until the hospice nurse arrived an hour later that I learned the noise was the death rattle and there was nothing I could do. We then made him as comfortable as we could and laid him back down to rest… but the horrible noise would keep with each breath.  This was my first time hearing this noise and I hope none of you ever have to experience it.

After hospice came and verified what was happening I took the night shift watching Dad as Mom tried to get some rest as she was tired from her week of radiation treatments.  I started his now hourly morphine and Ativan medication to reduce any discomfort he might have been feeling.  At around 6 am Saturday morning we traded and I tried to get some rest as the death rattle can continue for 24 to 48 hours and I knew I would need rest for the busy days to come.  I was awaken a few hours later by Mom saying she thought she just saw him take his last breath and for me to come check for vitals and verify.  I did and verified no breath and no pulse and gave him a final kiss on the forehead which was still plenty warm.  We called hospice to make the death official and to have the body removed.

I researched this death rattle as I was staying up with Dad and listening to each breath that cause it and I have even after the fact now and can take comfort in knowing the mechanism that causes it most likely means his brain was too far gone to be in any discomfort.  Because of this knowledge I now say I really lost my Dad sometime on the 24th and it was just his body that quit on the 25th.